Foster and Adoption: Disappointing News

I don't want this blog to have a bad vibe to it but it really is hard some times to stay positive when dealing with the foster care system. I'm really not a Debbie downer, to warn you about this post it is a little bit negative. But I share so I have for my records and in case anyone is interest in doing this some day.
As most of you know on March 31st and April 1 our little girl was suppose to have her severance trial, meaning her mom was no longer going to have custody of her and we get to finally adopt her! Well my dream of this finally ending was shatter, it was postpone! To recap a little, she was suppose to be severed on Feb 14, 2014, last year. We got a call saying, there is a little girl that needs a home would you be interested in adopting her! We said yes, in the hope that we are going to adopt her. Well they backed out of the trial that day and postponed it, and moved it for August of 2014, that got postponed to December of 2014 and that got postponed to April 31st 2015! And NOW that got postponed to.... wait for it....SEPTEMBER 28TH 2015! This poor little girl has been removed from her home since June 18, 2013. Are you ready for more depressing news, remember how she has a half brother the little red headed boy, well now the dad is still "involved" (he has done nothing, nor has he ever met his baby) but the reason he is "involved" is because he has a cousin that wants his baby and he wont let go of his rights unless he knows for sure that his cousin gets his baby. The cousin has wanted his baby from the beginning, well I should say 2 months later after he was born when they found out he is a father. There thing is they want to keep him in the family. They don't see his sister as family. The cousin is now bringing out the big guns and got herself a lawyer because she wants rights to this case. This is where I almost lost it, the cousin's lawyer said that if it's going to detrimental to the little girl to remove her baby brother, they would be willing to take her too! The judge did say no at this time but that fact that it is in the books that means that offer will circle back up again for that possibility. If that little girl is taken from us that means she will be removed from a home 3 times in her short little life that she has had. (she will be 3 this June) To show that the judge is not prejudice, he has granted the cousin have visits twice a month because he has denied them custody. It is so they don't come back and say they didn't have a chance to "bond" with the child. The thing we have going for us is "time" the longer they are with us the longer they will attach to Tom and I. And the court will have a hard time removing the kids.
As the little girl is getting older we have notice that she is changing like most kids but she is very confuse, you can tell she is thinking why am I seeing this other women every week when I live with this other family. Visits are very hard for kids, it is only beneficial to parents but very harmful for kids, it is a huge tease. My fear for the little boy, he still has visit with his mom every week and now twice a month with the cousin and if the dad does start doing something he will have visits once a week too. That is 3 different people he will see every week for a couple of hours. Which can lead to an attachment disorder, who is he suppose to attach himself too?!?!? And we wonder why we have so many mental problems in this world.
Now for my oldest, now he hasn't been technically been diagnose with RAD (reactive attachment disorder) but it's safe to say he has it. We have been trying to get him services for over 6 months now. And we have had people over multiple times and they find nothing wrong with him. The kid is good, he can put up a good show. Here is a link to an overview to what it is http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-reactive-attachment-disorder
there are better sites but to give you a glimpse. Everyday is a new day for us with him, we work really hard to build him up but it's hard to fight his pass what happen to him. As for what is going on with him, he still has visit with his dad once a week, the dad loves the kids but doesn't want to do anything for them basically he wants people to do things for him. He is really happy where he is at right now just seeing him once a week. It's really frustrating to think that this case could and most likely dragged out for another year or so.
But we keep going, we try to live a "normal" life. We have our good days and we do have a lot of bad days.  There are days I have to let out a good cry to keep going, I have to show that I am strong for these kids because they don't have anyone else to be strong for them. I'm not looking for praises or compliments, because I am definitely not a very good mom, I am far from it. I really look up to these other women out there who have so much patience, and kindness and a sweet spirit about them to their kids. But I do what I do because I know this is what my heavenly father wants me too and I know he helps me everyday. I do love being a mom, and especially to these kids.
I could go on more sharing more but I don't want to bore you with my life.