Technically we have had 4 kids in our home but not all at the same time, the first little boy went back to his mom. But back to our little girl, the beginning of February, I got a phone call from my agency stating that we have a little girl that is up for adoption, would you be interested??? They explained all the information and details they have on her. Of course I said yes! we would take her. To explain how this works, they have a data base and before you start, you build a profile and base on your profile when a child is up for adoption a data base picks about 4-6 families and your adoption specialist now tries to sales you to the state saying why you are the best family for this child and the state decides which family they are moving forward with. Turns out we didn't get picked. When we found out we didn't get picked, we were ok with it, I wasn't sad or disappointed. I understood that going this route is a gamble and you don't always "win". Around the middle of March I get another phone call, its the adoption specialist saying that the other family that was picked decided not to go through with taking the little girl, are you still interested in taking her? Of course I said YES! We met with our adoption specialist and some state people to go over more details of the child to see if we are still interested in her. Well I can't give you any details of what happen to the child but I will say she was shaken, which ended up with lots of head injuries. This is the part that is scary when doing the foster system, you end up with children who have "baggage". We also found out that she hasn't been severed from her mom yet or is even close to that point. But they really believe that she will be. That is the other scary part, there is no guarantee with the system, I never believe what they say. So you ask, why take her??? Well first off both my husband and I felt really good about her and that she needed to be with us. Second, without totally bashing the other foster family, (who make me very upset, to think about!) she wasn't in a good home. Both my husband and I felt that whether we adopt her or not, we felt she needed to be in an environment where she can learn and grow to her full potential. We said yes and lets start this transition visit so she can be in our home. Well a week before Easter she in now in our home for good, well good meaning as she isn't going anywhere unless she goes back to her mom. Tom and I have been very pleased with our choice, we are not afraid of any after effects of her injuries, she is a smart, beautiful, chunky and feisty little girl and we couldn't be happier with her our choice.
Now our four year old, I could write forever on him but I will spare you. I love him with all my heart but he is defiantly testing any of my "skills" I have as parent. He has started his visit with his dad, and to tell you I HATE VISIT WITH BIO FAMILIES!!! It confuses the kids, "hey come see your parent for 2 hour and then get TAKEN away again" everything I have worked for to make him a typical four year old, now what he was when he first came into our home has now come back. He is back to cussing, defiant, angry, not sleeping at night. I can't stress to all parent how important the first 5 years of a child life is. The children I see, and the lack of parenting a parent should be to these kids all for their selfish reasoning. As you are reading this, I hope you are not taking this as I'm bragging that I'm some perfect parent, because by all means I am FAR from it, I lack soooooo many qualities and skills but I do know I try my best everyday.
Now for my 7 month old, he is my sunshine! I love him with all my heart he is the happiest baby ever! From all his drug expose in the womb he has turn out more perfect then I could imagine. We are still hoping that we get to adopt him and it still looks promising BUT the stupid state still has to try to find the bio mom! She gave birth to the kid and walked out that day saying I don't want this kid! Never to be seen or heard again. But they still have to give her a chance. It's such a long process, but I know everyday I wait it will be worth it. (I keep telling myself that to make me feel better)
It is really weird to stop and think when I get a chance to be raising a child not from birth, and to think they have more a past then any of us could imagine. I have more hard days then good days but I know both my husband and I are where we are suppose to be in our life. We are very happy too in our lives, happy to have come from wonderful parents, to have been raised in the gospel and to know who we are and where we come from. And that some day that all this bad in this world will be taken care of through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that Heavenly Father watches out for me and Tom because he knows we need all the help we can get.
Thanks for stopping by!
PS Sorry for my bad grammar or if things don't make sense. I'm trying to write as fast as I can with my kiddos on my lap.
