I feel like I say this a lot but YES it has been a while, time flies when you don't have a lot of free time on your hands. As most of you notice we added another little guy to our home. It was funny because about 6 months ago, I was talking to Tom and I was saying I feel like its time to add another kiddo to our home. I feel like we are missing someone, which means, we had to get our license amended to have 3 kids in our home and sure enough we got a phone call, and we got our little girl. What I didn't know is we were missing another little blessing in our home. It always amazes me how Heavenly Father knows what is best for us, don't get me wrong I know it and say it, but when stuff like this happens it's always an Testimony. After about a month of having the little girl, they tell us the Mom is pregnant and due in July, would you be interested in taking in the brother???? To back up a little around December, Tom and I were talking one night, and we were discussing how I don't think I could do another new born. The reason was, as most of you know newborns are A LOT OF WORK. And I felt like if we ever took in another newborn it would extremely hard to see them go back to their bio family, after we did all the hard work for this family. Some might say but all the kids would be hard to see go back to their families. Which is true but, you do put in more time and energy into a newborn, plus you have them from the beginning! All those sleepless nights of bonding and connecting with a baby, to find out in the end they are going back. It would just be heart breaking. I didn't know I had these thoughts or feelings until we took in our first newborn, and I couldn't imagine ever giving him back. To even think of taking in another newborn, the little girl's brother, I didn't know I could do it. But it's crazy once again Heavenly Father knows me better then I do, it just felt right to take him in. Was I scared, YES! Did I think Tom and I were crazy to take on a 4th child??? YES!!!! As most of you know, when you know something is right and you feel good about it, and God is telling you DO IT! You just do it, and just pray EVERYDAY for strength. Here we are with 4 kids, a 4 year old, 2 year old, 10 month old and a newborn. This last year has been a wild ride for us, we went from 0 to 4 kids in a year. Will we get to adopt the 4 year old, still unknown, the 2 year old and newborn both wild cards. The 10 month old we are waiting for a court date to adopt him, which we couldn't be more excited!
Lets talk about the 4 year old, he really is a sweet little guy who just wants to be loved and accepted. Tom and I have had to rely heavily on Heavenly Father with this kid. He came in our home as a wild child, he grew up with no structure, boundaries, attention, attachment and the wrong kind of love in his short period of life. To top it off he is developmentally delay, as most foster kids are. Everyday it is a struggle, he has no imagination, when you hand him a toy as simple as a car, he looks at you, like "what am I suppose to do with it???" We try to set up an environment of creativity but he can't take the next step of doing it himself. Other issues we have he is very impulsive, for example we will be sitting on the floor playing and out of no where he will spit or hits you. Other issues we have is jealousy, lots and lots of attitude I would describe his attitude as very similar to a teenager. The list could go on. But I feel bad talking ill of this little guy. It wasn't his fault. So everyday we start all over, trying to figure out what will help him, and everyday I start my day off with a prayer asking God to give me lots and lots and LOTS of patience. I look forward to the times that I know I got to him and he the sweet little 4 year old I know he is.
Everyday its a new day for us, we have lots of appointments, people coming in and out of home checking on the kids and tons of paper work. Don't get me wrong there are some days I ask myself is this really worth it. But I know it is, and I am grateful for this adventure Tom and I are on. I never thought this would be the way I would go about having kids, I don't get depress or upset when I hear that someone is pregnant, I'm happy that a child is going to a loving and good home. I do get sad at times when I have "down time" is all the little details of being pregnant, the sonogram, the planning, the excitement of someone that you created you know those little details. There are things I don't know why or the reasoning but it is not my purpose to figure out why or to get depress or sad about, God has blessed me to care for one of his special children for any length of time, we may keep some and we may lose some. And in the end all I can do is my best.
No comments:
Post a Comment