Fostering - Recap of 2013

I know it’s the 5th of this month but I wanted to recap on what happen for the Drury family in 2013. A lot! It was all good things, Tom and I have been trying for many years now to have children and nothing was happening and we went to doctors and they wanted us to take shots/pills and whatever else you can imagine to help us get pregnant. Taking that stuff, COST LOTS OF MONEY and plus there is no guarantee, not that there is guarantees in life anyways, but we both felt like we would be pouring lots money for something that might not be attainable or even possible. One might think you should try every possible way to have your own child, even if that means making some sacrifice of going into debt to make that possible. And trust when I say this Tom and I have had LOTS and LOTS of conversation and we have prayed nonstop to make sure we made the correct decision for OUR family. And we decided to go the route of not having our own biological children. It was weird decision to make, but we both felt really good about it, and we felt no regrets about it. And as the saying goes as one door closes another opens. So what did that mean for our family, how are we going to grow our family, both of us wanted children. We both talked a lot about adopting because we knew that would be the route we would end up doing. Both of us have heard of fostering but we thought that would late down the road, but we thought we should have some kids of our own first before we open our home to kids that probably wouldn’t stay with us forever. As most of you know, that changed very quickly, and our home is open for fostering some amazing kiddos in hopes that some of them will end up stay with us forever.

It was exciting times; I finally got to quit my job to become a full time MOM! I was always scared, I wasn’t going to like staying at home with kids because I have been working for a long time now and I was use to working. Tom and I know how important it is for a parent to be home with a child, and if we are going to foster some kiddos they will need some extra love and attention. I have not once missed working outside of the home, being a Mom is the best job EVER. We got our first foster kiddo towards the end of July, he was almost 2 years old and we were in love the moment we met him. We got our next foster kiddo in September, a brand new baby! And once again, we were in love! So our family went from a family of two to a family of 4 in less than two months! Tom and I were having so much fun, we were tired but at the same time we loved being parents to these precious little ones. Now don’t get me wrong it isn’t all good times, being foster parents comes with lots of challenges, dealing with the kids Biological parents, the state and your agency. Everyone is in your life, and you have LOTS of rules. You have to ask for permission to do anything and everything that has to deal with the child. Even though the child in our home isn’t really ours, we have to try to make sure they feel like they are ours. As most of you know kids aren’t stupid, they know and feel when things are out of whack. Let’s just say I have lots of gray hair and some major bags under my eyes from being a foster mom.

We experience our first lost in our home. Our first foster kiddo, the two year went back to his momma. It was a bitter sweet moment. I loved him so much, he was our first child and I knew he wasn’t ours but I like to think he was ours for the four months we had him. At the same time we both knew he belonged to his biological mother and we both had peace about him returning to her and that he would be safe. I was crying like a baby even though I was happy about the situation. It really hard to explain, what we feeling that day, it’s an empty feeling knowing that we will never see him again. But we are so grateful for Heavenly Father sending him to us, making him our first kid in our life.

This brings us to the end of the year, after we lost our first kid, we waited until we got back from Utah to accept another child in our home, and we spent thanksgiving with Tom’s family and had a wonderful time. I wish we could live closer to them. We got our third child, another boy! I’m pretty sure our family will be an all boy family. This one is three soon to be 4 in a couple of months. He is full of energy and lots of colorful language. But we love him so much and couldn’t be happier with our placement.

There are lots of things Tom and I have learned about us as individuals and as a couple being parents. I hope nobody takes this next statement the wrong way but its how Tom and I feel we are not trying to be cocky, I’m just sharing. When we became parents we weren’t nervous about caring for another human being, messing up, basically failing as a parent, our motto basically is we can’t be as bad as what these kids came from. Let me just tell you, it takes every pressure off our back, I’m not trying to be a perfect parent nor do I want too. I love learning as I go. And trust me, I have had to pick up on things FAST, starting off with a two year old and less than two months later having a newborn in the home too! The most important thing I have learned this year is compassion. I use to feel strongly that I would HATE the parents for putting these kids in the situation they are in, for being selfish and caring for their needs. Now don’t think I’m happy that a person would sexually, physically or emotionally abuse a child because it makes me sick to my stomach that someone could do such a thing to someone who is pure and innocent as a child. I don’t know this person, I don’t know their background I know NOTHING about them. Not that it makes it right for them to do what they did, but everyone has a story. And if I have hatred in my heart then I can’t help the child that’s in my home and I can’t improve as a person with so much negativity in my heart. And if these parents didn’t do what they did, I would never be so bless to have these beautiful kiddos in my home. It’s a weird thought to think. But I will say this, I HATE the foster care system, it makes me mad! Will save that conversation for another post. I just read this quoted recently that I love, Mother Teresa said, "I want to be a pencil in his hand." I know that God has a plan for me and it may not be how I thought would turn out, but I’m glad it has turn out so far. In Summary 2013 has been a confusing and emotional and happy time for the Drury family. I hope 2014 will be just as amazing. We look forward to our many new adventures and all our future kiddos to come bless Tom and I.